so let's seeeee, where were we? oh right, i was miserable with Legos, because it wasn't rockin' in the sack and he couldn't keep up with me socially. meanwhile i met a dude that was like... there really is no better way to describe it than the guy version of me. Hell, he's a site admin for a bunch of porno sites; how hot is that?
anyway, so this guy and i started chatting each other up privately, as opposed to in the IRC channel. it was actually quite tame at first-- discussing my cooking adventures, talking of music, aspirations/dreams, and somehow it got around to how we were both quite unhappy in our current relationships. fast forward a couple of weeks, the dialogue has definitely stepped up to a different level and we are trying to figure out what the hell to do.
my situation with Legos was much more easily remedied than his almost 10 year relationship. Also, because he had been with her for so long, and i had a bit of a suspect past with this group of people (can you believe they thought i was a trouble maker?), we knew all hell would break loose from a coupling between us. because he is the king of the geeks (or as described by one person "silver back of the nerds"), he is the mediator and sometimes oracle for this group that has shoddy interpersonal skills and trouble expressing themselves.
Despite comparatively being able to disengage myself from Legos, in late may when i was still attempting to make stuff with him work, we had purchased a trip to fla together. hotel, rental car, plane fare all wrapped into one. almost as soon as i bought it with him, i regretted it and tried to back out. that of course went over as a raging "fail".
So, to wrap this up for now and to recap the situation, the King and I are solidly retarded over each other, he's living with this chick he's miserable with, I'm dating someone that both bores and frustrates me, yet i still have vacation plans with. we had both tried to put the brakes on what was developing, both took pause because we knew if and when it hit the public eye, we would get a ration of wrath from the majority of people. However, neither of us wanted to ignore what was going on because it seemed to be the most amazing thing either of us had ever encountered. What to do?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
introFUCKINGduction!
There can come a time when one's blogging life gets too close to their real life and such exciting, and well scandalous, events must be kept out. This is due to too many people-friends, family, coworkers, boyfriend(s)- reading it. More so than that, if one is having internal struggles, they might not want to share those because real life might not always totally dig the conundrums.
And no, I'm not just starting this blog because I'm drunk either, I am just overwhelmed. That's the main reason why I havent been blogging as much. When I cant write about the stuff that's really important to me, not just drunken shenanigans, it frustrates me.
So let's catch up! I had been dating a great guy, with all the things I had been looking for, well almost. He has like 80% of the things I'm looking for, and unfortunately those 20% are mostly in the sack, with the remaining 5% being he's just not as gregarious and extroverted as I am. I am a fantastic person to have at a party, but not such a good person to be WITH at a party, if that makes sense. I wont babysit someone, and other than introducing them to people, they are on their own. Other than those couple of qualities, this guy is legitimately awesome, and treats me quite well. It was enough to make me wrestle with the question: Should I settle for someone who meets the majority of my needs, or should I try to do better? Dating is a lot like the "lets make a deal" game, where you can exchange who you have for what's behind the door; they could be better, worse or the same. Key is not losing something better chasing rainbows and unicorns.
That's my biggest goal in life, having as little regrets as possible. Hence why I do all of the partying I do. However, if you know really know what you want for your future, it's hard to tell where to prioritize stuff, both in dating and the rest of your life. I thought I knew what I wanted, but the life of suburban domestication that would lead to being a trophy wife didnt suit me or maybe it just didnt suit me quite yet. So I cast it and Lawyerman to the side.
In my search to figure out my bag of chaos, the guy I had been dating, Legos fell in love. I encouraged it, I wont deny, but it freaked me out more than anything. While he was planning out our futures (which I'll get to later), I was still searching for someone else better on stealth mode. I wasnt exactly met with raging success at first. Then I met KingGeek. He might possibly be the male version of me. Unfortunately, he had been dating this girl for nine years.
to be continued...
And no, I'm not just starting this blog because I'm drunk either, I am just overwhelmed. That's the main reason why I havent been blogging as much. When I cant write about the stuff that's really important to me, not just drunken shenanigans, it frustrates me.
So let's catch up! I had been dating a great guy, with all the things I had been looking for, well almost. He has like 80% of the things I'm looking for, and unfortunately those 20% are mostly in the sack, with the remaining 5% being he's just not as gregarious and extroverted as I am. I am a fantastic person to have at a party, but not such a good person to be WITH at a party, if that makes sense. I wont babysit someone, and other than introducing them to people, they are on their own. Other than those couple of qualities, this guy is legitimately awesome, and treats me quite well. It was enough to make me wrestle with the question: Should I settle for someone who meets the majority of my needs, or should I try to do better? Dating is a lot like the "lets make a deal" game, where you can exchange who you have for what's behind the door; they could be better, worse or the same. Key is not losing something better chasing rainbows and unicorns.
That's my biggest goal in life, having as little regrets as possible. Hence why I do all of the partying I do. However, if you know really know what you want for your future, it's hard to tell where to prioritize stuff, both in dating and the rest of your life. I thought I knew what I wanted, but the life of suburban domestication that would lead to being a trophy wife didnt suit me or maybe it just didnt suit me quite yet. So I cast it and Lawyerman to the side.
In my search to figure out my bag of chaos, the guy I had been dating, Legos fell in love. I encouraged it, I wont deny, but it freaked me out more than anything. While he was planning out our futures (which I'll get to later), I was still searching for someone else better on stealth mode. I wasnt exactly met with raging success at first. Then I met KingGeek. He might possibly be the male version of me. Unfortunately, he had been dating this girl for nine years.
to be continued...
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